Tag: stress-reduction

A Hopeful Time of Year!

May is a hopeful time of year as we start to plant our gardens in Southern Minnesota. Planting represents hope for a positive future. The act reflects a commitment to nurture growth, fostering qualities like kindness and love for a better world.

At work today, the hot topic was planting gardens. No, I do not work in a garden center, but I do work with many people that enjoy the possibilities that spring planting brings. In Southern Minnesota, Mother’s Day is the magic day that we wait for (May 11th this year). After Mother’s Day, it is safe (supposedly) to plant our gardens. Side note: This is also the same weekend as the MN Walleye opener (May 10th). I choose planting – the Walleye can wait!

Planting is an act of Hope. Hope is the desire that something good is going to come in the future. Hope is that belief that the effort you are putting in now is going to pay off in the way you want some time in the future. Hope is an acknowledgement that you are looking forward to a future that is different from today.

When you plant, you hold in your hand the tiniest of seeds. You place it in the ground and gently cover it with dirt. Maybe you’re like me and you return each day to see if anything is sprouting yet, hoping for something that looks like what you planted and not another weed. You watch the rainfall, making sure that the little seed is getting enough water. You keep an eye on the critters, making sure they aren’t digging in your garden. You do what you can to protect and nurture that little seed, hoping all along that at some point a little sprout will pop through the dirt.

My experience is that about 50% of the vegetable plants that I start from seed successfully make it to harvest. Some vegetables do much better than others, and a lot of it depends on what the deer eat! But every year I enter this season with the same hope of creating something beautiful in my garden. It is a hopeful time of year!

Let is be a hopeful time of year for you too! Start planting seeds right now. Seeds can grow more than plants. Sow seeds of courage, generosity, kindness, love. And live in the hope that we can make this world better each day!

Buried Rocks, Beautiful Potential

Just as hidden rocks hinder plant growth, buried past struggles can affect our lives. Embracing and transforming these challenges can lead to growth, empathy, and the ability to uplift others, ultimately creating a beautiful foundation.

Remember that flower bed I wrote about in my first post? I mentioned that the soil was hard and rocky. That was a bit of an understatement. This flower bed has layers of rocks laid down by previous owners as they made improvements over the years. One owner covering up the landscape left by the previous one. Digging in this soil is nearly impossible, every plunge of the shovel hits – you guessed it – rocks.

When we bought this home, that flower bed was covered with a spreading evergreen bush. It was nice looking, and there was no way of knowing that all of these rocks were hiding under it before we pulled the bush out. Now, I keep trying to plant flowers and bushes into that rocky soil. I shouldn’t be surprised that they aren’t growing well or achieving their full beautiful potential.

We are the same. Everyone has a past and many of us have rocks that we try to bury in the dirt and plant over as we keep trudging forward. Eventually, though, even as we are trying to plant something new, the rocks in the soil prevent it from really taking root. Discouragement sets in.

But rocks can also be turned into something positive. They can be used to create foundations and build up something beautiful. Rocks can become homes and provide shelter. Rocks can become beautiful walls in the landscape. They can become a work of art.

Looks at the rocks from your past, instead of trying to cover them up, maybe even layering rocks on top of rocks, and planting over them, use them to create a firm foundation for building something better. Even our worst or most embarrassing life experiences can become a thing of beauty when we acknowledge them and learn from them. They can create in us a feeling of empathy for others and bring us alongside others in their times of struggle. We can offer them a kind word and supporting hand because we have already walked where they now stand. Our life experiences are not meant to be covered and hidden by a false smile or sarcastic comment. They are meant to be used to lift others up.

If you have buried rocks in your garden of life, don’t waste your energy trying to hide them. I encourage you to seek out someone that you trust, maybe even a professional, explore those rocks and use them to create a foundation to build something beautiful.

This Moment

The author shares her connection to Jeremy Camp’s song “Keep Me in the Moment,” emphasizing its relevance during times of distraction and overwhelm. She illustrates how distractions can hinder living intentionally. The message urges the importance of being present in life.

One of my favorite songs is by Christian singer/songwriter Jeremy Camp. It is called “Keep Me in the Moment” (you can listen to it on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb1bx3hYfzg).

This song speaks directly to me. It is my go-to song whenever I feel like I am becoming distracted or overwhelmed. Have you ever been so distracted in the present moment that you miss something big? Maybe you are worrying about the future or stewing on the past. Maybe you are deep in a book and not giving attention to those around you. I’ll give you one example from my own life.

I typically don’t go on road trips longer than 2 hours by myself, but I had a meeting in the other corner of the state and a 4-hour journey ahead of me. The trip up to this town in the Northwest of Minnesota went fine, and the meeting was great. The next morning at 5am I started the drive home. I had downloaded an audio book and was listening to it on the drive home. Once I turned onto the Interstate (and familiar territory) I turned off the GPS on my phone and listened to the book as I cruised along for the final hour of the drive. Suddenly, I realized that while I was still on the Interstate, I didn’t recognize my surroundings. I was still headed south, but the landscape was unfamiliar to me. I had been driving on “auto pilot” as I listened to the book. When I saw the sign for the next exit, I realized I had overshot my exit by some 15 miles! I exited, turned around, and headed home.

In this example, I was the only one impacted. There have been other times in my life where my level of distraction impacted those around me. I couldn’t show up as the wife, mother, or friend that I wanted to be. I was not living in the moment. My thoughts were consumed by concerns for the future or regrets of the past.

When we don’t stay in the present moment for whatever reason we are missing out on the opportunity to live our lives intentionally, engaging with those around us. I’m not saying that we should stop thinking about the impacts of our actions and throw caution to the wind. What I am saying is that we can’t let those thoughts get out of control and become all consuming. At some point, we have to go out and live.

Take a listen to the song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb1bx3hYfzg). Does it speak to you too? Remember, this life matters! This time matters! Be present.

The Seeds of Time

The parable of the sower illustrates how time, like seeds, can yield different results based on how it is allocated. The author reflects on the value of time and encourages readers to examine how they spend their waking hours. Recognizing time usage is key to meaningful change and aligning actions with personal goals.

Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Whoever has ears, let them hear.” (Matthew 13:3-9, NIV)

This parable, from the gospel of Matthew, came to mind today. Later in the gospel, Jesus goes on to explain the meaning of this parable as it relates to faith. For me though, it took on a different meaning this morning. I was thinking of this parable in terms of time.

Time is a precious resource, always moving forward, and once spent, it can never be regained. We can “plant” our time in ways that it will grow and bear fruit, or we can just throw it away on rocky soil. What we do with our time matters!

Bob Goff drives this point home in his book “Undistracted” (2022). It is an excellent read and I highly recommend it. He looks at the number of days an average person lives and emphasizes that what we do in that time matters deeply! I had to break that down a bit, and think of time as hours in a day, not days in a lifetime. In a 24 hour day, assuming you sleep for approximately 8 hours, you have 16 waking hours. Of course, there are basic things you need to take care of such as food, shelter and hygiene. So, let’s say you have 12 hours then to plant as your seeds of time for the day.

What do you do? Take a moment to think about where your time goes. Actually list it out! On any given day, my list may include things like watching TV, surfing the internet, scrolling social media, talking with family and friends, working at a career, volunteering, and the list goes on. What does your list show? Actually, track this for a few days and make a timeline of your day!

Now reread the parable of the seeds. Remember, you have 12 seeds of time to scatter each day? How many of those seeds are falling along the path or the rocky places or the thorns where they won’t grow and bear fruit? How many are falling on fertile soil, growing into something that makes a difference in your life or the lives of others?

Now if you did this exercise and are happy with how you are sowing your allotment of seeds – good for you! Keep at it!

If you are like me and thought “I waste a lot of time!” TAKE HEART! Realizing is the first step to change. Now you know where your time is going, and you have the ability to change it if you want to. Look back at your dreams for 2025 (see the last blog) and make sure, to the extent you can, you are sowing your time in a way that aligns with your dreams. It isn’t easy to change, so be intentional today, and every day, where you sow the seeds of your time.

(Image generated by AI)

Control Freak

“Control, control, you must learn control!” – Master Yoda

I am a control freak (along with a perfectionist, but we’ll talk about that some other time). As Master Yoda said: “Control, control, you must learn control!” (emphasis mine). Let’s unpack that, shall we?

As long as I have been in Minnesota, the tomatoes practically grew themselves with very little intervention from me. I would plant 4-6 plants of different varieties and reap a harvest from August to October that would actually have me sick of eating fresh tomatoes and filling my freezer with the overflowing harvest for use in winter stews.

This past summer, a cool spring with an excess of rain followed by a very dry July through September, resulted in a meager harvest that barely kept my salads topped. I thought maybe it was just me and my poor gardening skills, but I heard from several friends that it was a really bad year for tomatoes. Whew! Not entirely my fault! I mean, how am I supposed to control the weather??

OK, I can’t control the weather. But there were other factors within my control that could have made a difference. Sunlight, soil, mulch, water, pruning, support, these are all within my control. Removing any overhead branches that block the sunlight from the garden or monitoring the rainfall to determine supplemental water requirements, these things are in my control.

My point is, that while I can’t control all of the factors that will help my tomatoes thrive, I can do a better job of setting them up for success by leaning into the aspects of gardening that I can control.

It is this way in life too. We all face challenges from time to time, something that we don’t have complete control over. Maybe it is a sudden change in your career or a relationship. Instead of getting bogged down in the aspects of the challenge that you can’t control, can you focus in on areas that you can control. Focusing on what you can do can feel very empowering, while focusing on what you can’t control can feel overwhelming and frightening.

I know this firsthand. I was planning a trip for a group of women, amazing, caring women who I am so honored to call friends. Seems safe, right? I started to worry about whether they would like the travel plans, be OK with the airline, departure time, layover, food, and the list went on. I was so focused on trying to create an experience that they would LOVE that I was worrying myself into poor health and, quite frankly, I was dreading the trip.

I had to accept that there were some things I could control and some things that were out of my hands. I decided to plan the trip as I would want to travel. What would I want someone to do for me if they were planning the trip? Get me from point A to B and back again safely and as quickly as possible while controlling costs. I also enlisted a support system of a few close friends that I could run ideas by. I had to let go of the illusion that I could control how others would feel if our flight was delayed, or they didn’t like their seat on the plane, or whatever, and be at peace with the fact that I had done my best.

So, my question to you is this – are you focusing on what you can’t control and stressing yourself out, or are you focusing on what you can control and doing it to the best of YOUR ability? Trust me when I say that you will be much happier focusing on what you can control. How you act, react, learn and ultimately grow, are all within your control. Lean into that knowledge and change your world!

“Control, control, you must learn what you can and cannot control!” – Garden Girl

p.s. Thanks for my friend, RL, for encouraging me to not sit on a post too long trying to make it perfect (more about perfection some other time)!