self-improvement – Girl in the Garden

Inertia and Life

Have you ever felt stuck? Let’s explore how to overcome stagnation with support from others. Seek supportive environments for motivation and action. Once you get moving, the momentum gained is amazing.

Stick with me today as I geek out on science today.

I’ve been thinking about inertia. If you aren’t familiar with this term, here is a quick definition: Inertia is the tendency of an object to resist changes in its state of motion. You know, an object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest.

Think of a golf ball sitting on a tee. It will just sit there forever until some force, like a golf club, acts on it and forces it to move. Once it starts flying, if there wasn’t gravity to act upon the ball, it would just sail off into space.

Sometimes I am a golf ball! I need a little nudge, or occasionally a big “thwack”, to get me moving.

I had been looking at and talking about a project that I wanted to do at home for a couple of years now. I didn’t know where to start and I didn’t have the skills to move it forward. I was stuck. After a year of dreaming of the completed project, I received the nudge that I needed to get moving on it. The outside force was my dad. He had the skills needed for the project and was willing to teach me as we worked side-by-side to complete the work. That outside force made all of the difference.

Have you ever let inertia take hold of you? Maybe there’s a mess you need to clean up, a garden you need to weed, an apology you need to give, a room you need to paint, a doctor’s appointment you need to make. Big or small, whatever it is, you know you need to get going, but for whatever reason, you are stuck.

Here is a gentle nudge to get you going. Ask yourself why this thing you want to do is important to you! Then look around. Are you surrounding yourself with people or situations that are keeping you where you are, or are you surrounded by people and situations that will help you grow and move forward? Being around people in motion can be a great influence and help you get moving.

If you want to get moving on your health, are you associating with people that are also interested in improving their health? If you want to learn something new, are you around people that are also interested in learning? Do you surround yourself with people that are willing to encourage and support your dreams? Do you do the same for others?

Remember, every golf ball needs a golf club to help it get going!

The good news is, that once you get moving, inertia is also on your side. An object (or person) in motion tends to stay in motion until another force acts upon them.

Now get going!

This Moment

The author shares her connection to Jeremy Camp’s song “Keep Me in the Moment,” emphasizing its relevance during times of distraction and overwhelm. She illustrates how distractions can hinder living intentionally. The message urges the importance of being present in life.

One of my favorite songs is by Christian singer/songwriter Jeremy Camp. It is called “Keep Me in the Moment” (you can listen to it on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb1bx3hYfzg).

This song speaks directly to me. It is my go-to song whenever I feel like I am becoming distracted or overwhelmed. Have you ever been so distracted in the present moment that you miss something big? Maybe you are worrying about the future or stewing on the past. Maybe you are deep in a book and not giving attention to those around you. I’ll give you one example from my own life.

I typically don’t go on road trips longer than 2 hours by myself, but I had a meeting in the other corner of the state and a 4-hour journey ahead of me. The trip up to this town in the Northwest of Minnesota went fine, and the meeting was great. The next morning at 5am I started the drive home. I had downloaded an audio book and was listening to it on the drive home. Once I turned onto the Interstate (and familiar territory) I turned off the GPS on my phone and listened to the book as I cruised along for the final hour of the drive. Suddenly, I realized that while I was still on the Interstate, I didn’t recognize my surroundings. I was still headed south, but the landscape was unfamiliar to me. I had been driving on “auto pilot” as I listened to the book. When I saw the sign for the next exit, I realized I had overshot my exit by some 15 miles! I exited, turned around, and headed home.

In this example, I was the only one impacted. There have been other times in my life where my level of distraction impacted those around me. I couldn’t show up as the wife, mother, or friend that I wanted to be. I was not living in the moment. My thoughts were consumed by concerns for the future or regrets of the past.

When we don’t stay in the present moment for whatever reason we are missing out on the opportunity to live our lives intentionally, engaging with those around us. I’m not saying that we should stop thinking about the impacts of our actions and throw caution to the wind. What I am saying is that we can’t let those thoughts get out of control and become all consuming. At some point, we have to go out and live.

Take a listen to the song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb1bx3hYfzg). Does it speak to you too? Remember, this life matters! This time matters! Be present.

The Seeds of Time

The parable of the sower illustrates how time, like seeds, can yield different results based on how it is allocated. The author reflects on the value of time and encourages readers to examine how they spend their waking hours. Recognizing time usage is key to meaningful change and aligning actions with personal goals.

Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Whoever has ears, let them hear.” (Matthew 13:3-9, NIV)

This parable, from the gospel of Matthew, came to mind today. Later in the gospel, Jesus goes on to explain the meaning of this parable as it relates to faith. For me though, it took on a different meaning this morning. I was thinking of this parable in terms of time.

Time is a precious resource, always moving forward, and once spent, it can never be regained. We can “plant” our time in ways that it will grow and bear fruit, or we can just throw it away on rocky soil. What we do with our time matters!

Bob Goff drives this point home in his book “Undistracted” (2022). It is an excellent read and I highly recommend it. He looks at the number of days an average person lives and emphasizes that what we do in that time matters deeply! I had to break that down a bit, and think of time as hours in a day, not days in a lifetime. In a 24 hour day, assuming you sleep for approximately 8 hours, you have 16 waking hours. Of course, there are basic things you need to take care of such as food, shelter and hygiene. So, let’s say you have 12 hours then to plant as your seeds of time for the day.

What do you do? Take a moment to think about where your time goes. Actually list it out! On any given day, my list may include things like watching TV, surfing the internet, scrolling social media, talking with family and friends, working at a career, volunteering, and the list goes on. What does your list show? Actually, track this for a few days and make a timeline of your day!

Now reread the parable of the seeds. Remember, you have 12 seeds of time to scatter each day? How many of those seeds are falling along the path or the rocky places or the thorns where they won’t grow and bear fruit? How many are falling on fertile soil, growing into something that makes a difference in your life or the lives of others?

Now if you did this exercise and are happy with how you are sowing your allotment of seeds – good for you! Keep at it!

If you are like me and thought “I waste a lot of time!” TAKE HEART! Realizing is the first step to change. Now you know where your time is going, and you have the ability to change it if you want to. Look back at your dreams for 2025 (see the last blog) and make sure, to the extent you can, you are sowing your time in a way that aligns with your dreams. It isn’t easy to change, so be intentional today, and every day, where you sow the seeds of your time.

(Image generated by AI)

New Year, New Dreams: How to Ignite Your Passion and Set Meaningful Goals

Resolution is a 4-letter word! Instead of setting New Year’s Resolutions for 2025, let’s explore our dreams for the year ahead and set meaningful goals to make them a reality.

If you read my last post, you’ll know I was taking some time to reflect on 2024. I proposed 10 questions to guide this reflection. I looked back at my decisions, not to second guess them, but rather to see how they contributed to where I am today. In 2024, my theme was “Curiosity, Courage, Compassion, Connection”. This served as a guide to the questions that I asked myself as the year went on, especially when I was experiencing new situations. This reminded me to stop making my world smaller and to step out to strengthen connections. I have to say, I feel pretty good about 2024 – the accomplishments and the way I approached challenges. My world is definitely bigger now.

Now it is time to start thinking about the year ahead.

I don’t believe in setting New Year’s resolutions anymore. Been there, done that, and failed multiple times to see them through. So often, when we set resolutions (this should be a 4-letter word) we are focused on our short comings: I’m too shy, too fat, too slow, too (insert defect here).

This year, I am exploring my dreams. No, not the dreams I have when I am sleeping (those are too weird), I’m talking about the dreams that I have for my life. I am a big fan of dreaming, exploring possibilities! Dreams ignite motivation and fuel personal growth.

“You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream” – C S Lewis

I was listening to a sermon last Sunday (cor.org December 29, 2024), and the pastor proposed the following self-reflection questions to prepare for the new year (Notes in italics are mine):

Who am I? (What defines me? What are my strengths? Gifts?)
What dreams do I have for my life? (Life is short, what do I want to achieve or accomplish with the time I have? How do I want to be remembered?)
What obstacles are preventing me from pursuing my dreams? (Real or imagined, what is holding me back. What are my growth opportunities?)
What am I most afraid of happening should I chase this dream? (My preferred take on this question: What is the best thing that could happen should I chase this dream?)
What are 3 practical things I could do today to explore these dreams? (Time to take action… NOW!)
Who can I vet these dreams with? (I don’t have to figure this out alone, who can walk this journey with me?)

You might be thinking “This sounds like a lot” and maybe your tempted to jump right in to setting goals for the year. Remember, goals are a way to achieve dreams. A goal without a dream is just another item on the to-do list that you can ultimately check off, but it doesn’t really feed into something bigger. When you create the dream, you know exactly what the goal ties to and you will be far less likely to give up.

As we journey together into the new year, I’ll be dreaming big, setting goals, and moving forward. And yes, I’ll be doing all of this in my garden!

Happy New Year my friend. You are full of possibilities. Take a little time at the start of the new year to explore YOUR DREAMS! And if you need someone to believe in your dreams with you, just let me know!

Enjoying the View

As the year comes to a close, I’ve been thinking about how best to reflect on this year before I jump into the new one. I spent many years as a project manager and one of the keys to wrapping up a project was the “Lessons Learned” activity. If you aren’t familiar with this, here is a brief outline of the concept.

Get all of the project stakeholders together and ask the following questions:

What did we do well?
What could we do better?
What should we keep doing on future projects?
What should we change going forward?

Seems simple, right? You might be surprised at the conversation these questions can drive. Everyone gets to share their opinion, and many times there is a group that feels something was done well while another group sees it as a miss. It all depends on your perspective. The end goal is to help the next project be more successful than the one that was just completed.

Now, these aren’t the exact questions I’m thinking about, and I am certainly not planning to get a group together to ask what I did well and what I could have done better. This isn’t a 360-performance review of my year; this is my internal reflection. That being said, here are some questions I am reflecting on myself as I close out the year.

What am I proud of accomplishing this year?
What surprised me this year?
What is one book/movie/article that impacted the way I think about life? Why?
What new things did I try this year?
What did I let go of / stop doing that I would like to re-establish?
What did I let go of this year that lifted a weight off my shoulders?
What did I start doing this year that I need to let go of?
What did I start doing this year that made a positive difference in my life?
Who were 5 important people that influenced my life on a personal level?
What am I leaving unresolved and why?

Now, look back at those answers. Is there a word or sentence that sums up the theme of the year?

I’m not going to share my answers now, as it will take me a few days to work through this. I encourage you to take this list, make it your own, and work through it as the year comes to a close. Then, check back on January 1st as we start the process of setting intentions (NOT RESOLUTIONS) for the new year!

Control Freak

“Control, control, you must learn control!” – Master Yoda

I am a control freak (along with a perfectionist, but we’ll talk about that some other time). As Master Yoda said: “Control, control, you must learn control!” (emphasis mine). Let’s unpack that, shall we?

As long as I have been in Minnesota, the tomatoes practically grew themselves with very little intervention from me. I would plant 4-6 plants of different varieties and reap a harvest from August to October that would actually have me sick of eating fresh tomatoes and filling my freezer with the overflowing harvest for use in winter stews.

This past summer, a cool spring with an excess of rain followed by a very dry July through September, resulted in a meager harvest that barely kept my salads topped. I thought maybe it was just me and my poor gardening skills, but I heard from several friends that it was a really bad year for tomatoes. Whew! Not entirely my fault! I mean, how am I supposed to control the weather??

OK, I can’t control the weather. But there were other factors within my control that could have made a difference. Sunlight, soil, mulch, water, pruning, support, these are all within my control. Removing any overhead branches that block the sunlight from the garden or monitoring the rainfall to determine supplemental water requirements, these things are in my control.

My point is, that while I can’t control all of the factors that will help my tomatoes thrive, I can do a better job of setting them up for success by leaning into the aspects of gardening that I can control.

It is this way in life too. We all face challenges from time to time, something that we don’t have complete control over. Maybe it is a sudden change in your career or a relationship. Instead of getting bogged down in the aspects of the challenge that you can’t control, can you focus in on areas that you can control. Focusing on what you can do can feel very empowering, while focusing on what you can’t control can feel overwhelming and frightening.

I know this firsthand. I was planning a trip for a group of women, amazing, caring women who I am so honored to call friends. Seems safe, right? I started to worry about whether they would like the travel plans, be OK with the airline, departure time, layover, food, and the list went on. I was so focused on trying to create an experience that they would LOVE that I was worrying myself into poor health and, quite frankly, I was dreading the trip.

I had to accept that there were some things I could control and some things that were out of my hands. I decided to plan the trip as I would want to travel. What would I want someone to do for me if they were planning the trip? Get me from point A to B and back again safely and as quickly as possible while controlling costs. I also enlisted a support system of a few close friends that I could run ideas by. I had to let go of the illusion that I could control how others would feel if our flight was delayed, or they didn’t like their seat on the plane, or whatever, and be at peace with the fact that I had done my best.

So, my question to you is this – are you focusing on what you can’t control and stressing yourself out, or are you focusing on what you can control and doing it to the best of YOUR ability? Trust me when I say that you will be much happier focusing on what you can control. How you act, react, learn and ultimately grow, are all within your control. Lean into that knowledge and change your world!

“Control, control, you must learn what you can and cannot control!” – Garden Girl

p.s. Thanks for my friend, RL, for encouraging me to not sit on a post too long trying to make it perfect (more about perfection some other time)!

Changing Seasons …… and Perspectives

Fall is finally here! Last weekend, I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. This week, out come the flannel lined pants and the winter hat. Seasons change. How we view that change is all about perspective.

In the past, I hated flipping my calendar to November and then December. I am not a lover of the coming cold weather that these two months point to. Nor do I love the shortened days. As a matter of fact, I had declared the winter solstice, the shortest day of year, my least favorite day of the year. Really? Can you have a least favorite day of the year? In hindsight, that seems pretty petty.

A couple of years ago, I made a deliberate effort to change my perspective on the fall and winter months to focus on the positive.

Now….

Fall holds my favorite colors. The trees in my neighborhood look like brilliant fireworks in the fall. I use this color pallet throughout my home. The trees may lose their leaves and look dead, but they are welcoming an opportunity to sleep and ready themselves for the spring.

The winter solstice may be the shortest day of the year, but it is also the gateway to the light as the days begin to lengthen starting the next morning. When we turn that corner, I know that spring is once again coming, even if it is still three months away.

Sometimes life needs a little reframing too. Maybe you are afraid to try something new because you don’t want to embarrass yourself. Can you reframe your perspective?

Can you reframe anxiety into excitement? For me, it was: “I’m afraid to speak in front of others!” to “I’m excited to share what I know.”

Can you reframe frustration with others into an opportunity to understand their opinions better?

I know, it’s definitely not as easy as it sounds, but maybe, just maybe, a little change in perspective in one area of your life will open doors for other changes as well. Perhaps you can inspire others with your actions.

Good luck and enjoy the changing seasons!